So I started writing an Easter blog with the hopes that it would be ready in time for, well Easter, however as it so happens life managed to get too busy, screw the whole thing up and now I have to finish that blog next Easter, or I may just put it in a side page of ‘The Unfinished Ones’ that would be a horrible mish-mash of different pieces- like my own Frankenstein’s monster- but it could be an entertaining way of using up the spare parts I created that may never see the light of day.
Anyway, though life has been too busy and complex lately to do any sort of social media promotion or interaction- which I find very challenging, I have had time to think, procrastinate and actually write and have a project on its way. Hopefully to be released towards the end of this month or next. To sum it up crudely, it will be the start of a Psychological/ Supernatural/ Thrilling Novella series that I intend to self-publish on Amazon and continue releasing every 4 months with new instalments. I have my plan right, what could go wrong?
Well we all know the obvious answer to that is EVERYTHING, however I intend to focus on one point, and that is TIME! Time is the real enemy of humanity it passes, carrying us along with it, aging, aching, decomposing and then… we don’t really know- I invite a theological/religious/scientific/ philosophical debate here if you fancy it? Anyway…
This force , this internal sense that we have somehow adapted to create a form of control over ourselves and to put a limit on what and how much we can do within a conceived period of it without fear of physical and mental exhaustion. This system that we have adopted to help us understand the Universe is what is keeping most of us caged within our own minds and bodies. I am thirty now, but that is only thirty rotations of a planet around a star, that has been rotated around said star for Billions of years… there you go- I have just trapped myself into using the term years, which seem like a long ‘time’ but cosmically speaking is close to nothing than something.
Yes, some people do last over 120 rotations of a planet, they see so many changes and experience so much joy, pain, love and melancholy yet even in their perceived long time of existence they are less than a blip on the grand scale of the Universe. So why on our day to day lives do we stick to this rigid pattern of I need to work 8 hours, play 8 hours and sleep 8 hours? Or to break it down further, why should our existence be broken down to minutes, a 60th of an hour or even further down into seconds? What does that achieve?
Punctuality, Control, a sense of running early or running late to something is an opportunity for the system, society, the man, the church, the lizard people- whatever you see as the ‘Force of Control’ in the society you live in to point out to you that you are not living efficiently in your productive state of serfdom so to keep you in an extended state of guilt at having wasted the ‘free’ time they have given you.
My point is this. What if I go to a bar or cafe and I have to waste 15 minutes of my time waiting for someone to turn up? What will I do in that 15 minutes? I sure as hell won’t talk to anyone new just sit awkwardly playing on my phone- wasting that time. How dare I have 15 minutes of downtime and self-isolation! What a misuse of the free time! However if we took away minutes and just worked in hours, sure it might cause some problems whilst cooking food or something, but if we perceived the 15 minutes as a quarter of an hour, it becomes only a part of a greater something and doesn’t seem as bad as wasting 15 minutes. 15 minutes are gone but 45 minutes still remain within that hour. Rejoice there is more time with your friend than there is without them. (Unless they’re my friends, they tend to run half an hour late, so I never arrive on time with those bitches anyway,Lol!)
I guess what I’m trying to say is this. Use, or misuse of time is not helpful to the creative endeavour. I, like many people are realistic and dogmatic in their goals and dreams. So many people long to break free of the hold their day-to-day jobs have over them, the whole idea of working hard in one line of work so that someone a few steps above you gets to reap the majority of the reward is not a very motivating one, especially for those on minimum wage (which I’m not thankfully). But those people up there have used their time to further themselves better into that position. They are the career-minded, not the creative minded or the comfort minded and they can work in that system of rules, regulations and competition. Time is their friend, they perform well within set time limits as they are creatures of the material world. The creative are not, we are creatures of the meaning of the world, and time does not really play a practical part in the meaning of life, unless you are a creature of the material world. So let’s have fun with time, let’s not fear it as our enemy, let’s adapt it in our own way towards our own purpose.
So this is what I suggest, to myself more than to you guys really. I suggest that I now break down my time into weeks- one 52nd of a year. I work five days out of seven, some of these are in odd patterns but that is now irrelevant. Instead of putting hours in relation to days I will put hours in relation to weeks so every week I have (uses calculator) 168 hours! Now 42 of these are taken up with regards to work. Well actually if you include hour breaks- 47 hours are dedicated to being at work. (Though that in itself is an untapped resource of time.) So this leaves me with 121 hours. How much sleep will I need over that weekly period? I tend to sleep less than average so I’ll dedicate 50 to the cause. That is 50 hours a week sleep. I now have 71 hours at my disposal! Yay to time.
So with that in mind, how the hell have I managed not to dedicate at least 20 hours of time to my writing projects a week? It might bump up my work time to 67 hours a week but that still leaves me with over 2/7ths of a week’s worth of time for socialising and ‘Netflix and Chill’ (actual Netflix and chill- loving ‘13 Reasons Why’ at the moment!) Hallelujah, I have used time to my advantage!
So I don’t really know where this blog came from. I woke up in the morning thinking- ‘Yeah let’s declare war on time, Fuck it to hell!’ and I have ended up convincing myself that Time isn’t really the enemy, and though work is pain in the arse and I’d much like to leave it- it is not the enemy either, it’s me. I am my own worst enemy. I have convinced myself that I am too tired after (or before, depending what shift I am on) work. But when I look back into it, I have sadly wasted time and I feel guilty for it, not for how society wants me to feel bad for it, but that I could have worked so much more towards my goals in that time. I am not a creature of comfort, or a creature that worships the material world I am a creature of meaning, not of things.
And with that comes the burden of thinking too much, over analysing and becoming Neurotic. Convincing myself not to do things because of restraints that are supposedly imposed upon me. They are not restraints but basis’ of measure, that add to the meaning of life. Without time, there would be nothing to propel us to stop wasting it, nothing to stop us from flailing away our existence into a never ending abyss. Time, I apologise, you are not an enemy. You are a measure of meaning. You do not restrict me. I restrict myself.